My attempt to practice this anti-inflammatory diet is getting progressively worse. Today, I ate a huge slice of pizza. But, it wasn't completely about low self-will; it was more about starvation and the fear and discomfort of starvation. I mentioned lunch, specifically Crumpy's Honey Gold Wings, to my co-workers about 11:30 or noon. It didn't get a rise from them. Between 12 & 12:30, I went to the administrative building to pick up items, sign things, and generally take care of business. It ended up being a lengthy visit from office to office so it was basically 1 o'clock once I got away. One of my case managers was co-leading a presentation at 1pm in the administrative building, 1-2:30. Oh so hungry. I tried to prepare; I ate an orange at the beginning of their training. Nonetheless, it wasn't long before I began to feel deep stabs of hunger. When the presentation was over, I tried to convince my co-workers that we should go and buy some food but they were content with microwave, butter popcorn. I found an office suite with food-- a fruit tray and PIZZA (my other Achilles heel). I got some fruit and walked away. Then I went back for more ('cause I was still hungry) but ended up with a slice of pizza as well. A therapist told me not to get the pizza, I'd regret it later. Half-way through the slice, I thought she was right (but my belly was so happy). So that's my goof up for the day.
Now for my frustration. 5pm, I was leaving work and sleepy. I went to the seamstress for some hems I've been putting off for too long. Once I got back to my neighborhood, I really was not okay with the idea of cooking. I tried to be. All I need to do is brown some ground turkey and then build some nachos. I really don't want to do this. I want to sleep. My sleep has been janky all week and I'm tired. I frantically looked around for a place to eat in my neighborhood. If I had the menu in my car for the hot dog/pizza place or knew of a place that sales pizza by the slice around here, that would have been my dinner. Instead, I bought a pickle from Walgreens. It's a horrible nutritional choice but it keeps me on my diet. Walking to Walgreens' door, I thought of several foods I cannot have. I realized then that I'm searching for some can's-- what can I eat?
I'm so close to throwing in the tile. Maintaining this for a year is too much to ask. Maintaining it for 6 more weeks might be too much. I'm on the verge of giving up and accepting pain (and defeat). To be proactive, I made myself read another section of the Allergy self-help cookbook. If I had (1) more to eat, (2) more options, and (3) simpler options, I think this process would be that much easier.
In other news, a guy that I used to talk to at a camera store suggested that I enter some art fairs. I'm honored that he thinks of me that way. I have nothing ready or organized for such an adventure but I am interested in getting there to see what happens. That's one of the positive influences Cindi had on me.
Slow Cooker Buffalo Chicken
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[image: Shredded buffalo chicken in a slow cooker.]This slow cooker buffalo
chicken recipe is super easy to make with only three ingredients! It's
perfect ...
10 hours ago
How fabulous that you are doing this!
ReplyDeleteWould you mind posting a list of things you CAN and like to eat so when we are together I'll know what things I can suggest? I asked a co-worker for a similar list recently since she has food issues (we all do - it's just that most of us are unaware of them) - and it will help. I bring snacks into work sometimes and I don't want to bring in stuff she can't share.
Your list of CANS may be bigger than you think -- it's just that having some things you used to LOVE on the CAN'T list is hard.
HANG IN THERE!!! Am so glad you went to Yo yoga. I should have gone last night -- am planning to go tomorrow.
Audrey
I didn't know that you go to a Yo class. Is that a regular occurrence for you?
ReplyDeleteI love you.
ReplyDeleteI love you too, Raquel.
ReplyDelete