a refocusing

About this time last week, I cracked. Somewhere along the way, I just stopped following my diet. Monday, I believe, is when I consciously embraced this diversion and decided to take a break. Monday, I will resume my altered idea of what is and what is not okay for me to consume. Briefly, I mourned that return while I was checking out at Wal-mart.

This time around, I will consciously strive to embrace new eating. I will look at cookbooks and find variety in what I can eat. There is an answer beyond corn, soy, and fruit. And I will be grateful. Always. (Thank you, Maria.)

This week of variance has not been a bad experience on this journey. (1) My body is no longer use to ice cream. The (yummy!) peace milkshake from Chick-Fila filled me from west to middle TN and then some. It was not unpleasant to my belly; it was just different. How quickly we forget. (2) Too much sugar and junk exist. Swimming in those waters result in nausea and an unpleasant state of being. (3) Fruit is an option, even when not mandated.

It is easy for me to go back to my old way of eating when not mentally bound by a different eating code but I discovered that's not what I want to do. I got to enjoy chicken biscuits and sandwiches from chick fila, but still ate veggie stir fry with brown rice. I got to eat Peeps! and a chocolate bunny, but I also enjoyed an apple and orange. Butter! Yummy butter! I did not know how good butter tastes before this journey. Now, I recognize its greatness but don't need to experience it at every meal.

I have some pain today, but nothing that is unbearable. It started last night and I had an interesting noticing: My body had a sense of deep pain, but it also had a sore throat, stuffy nose, and tight shoulders, just like when it erupted in pain last week. I wonder (1) why cold symptoms and pain come together and (2) how consistently this relationship exists. I have no insight on this relationship, but I am aware.

Thus far, I'm not sure that nightshade plants cause me harm besides possibly flaring up GERD. Next week's return to structure will include the continued consumption of nightshade plants. One week with gluten, yeast, dairy, nightshade plants, and sugar has shown me that strong pain does not occur in this period of time (unless all of those categories test negative for triggering my pain). It makes me wonder how long and often I do need to eat the given foods for the pain to be seen if a positive correlation between that food and me experiencing pain do exist. Is 3 weeks, as originally planned, enough?

In the midst of refocusing on this experience and looking forward to the family game night that starts soon, I'm excited about throwing a birthday party this year. June 26, 5:30pm, bring some wine or food. I'm also excited about my nieces and nephews coming to town for a few weeks this summer. I'm generally enjoying life at this moment. Blessed be.

I am grateful for the Stone. I am grateful for the people/group we worshiped with last night. I am grateful for activists striving to make this world a better place. I am grateful for people that believe. I am grateful that dad and I have not been in automobile accidents in the past two days despite the close calls. I am grateful that you are safe.