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Sunday, October 19, 2014

church listing

I'm not quite sure what I did with my kindle in the move... of course, I also can't say I've looked. Anyhow, this situation has inspired me to post info on churches to visit here so that I can access it from any online device. I realize that one issue I have with going to church on Sundays-- in addition to plain lack of motivation-- is lack of a plan. If I had a church home, it would be understood that I would wake up and go there. For me, it's more like tackle that question on Saturday and then wonder details like what time they start. I *think* I started collecting start times in my kindle but until we are reconnected, here I go again:

1. Gay Pentecostal Church meets in the afternoon. Will have to acquire details again.
2. Open Heart Spiritual Center. Now meeting at: Leadership Memphis Gallery, 363 S. Main- Memphis, TN 38103. Meditation at 9:30am, Celebration Service 10am.
3. Old Salem Baptist Church, 368 Buntyn Street, 323-9041, Rev. Jack Carpenter on Bunton near Orange Mound, near Central Ave
4. Mt. Moriah Baptist Church, 2634 Carnes Ave, (901) 324-6771
5. One Faith Christian Center (default), 5141 Easley, 11am
6. New Direction Christian Church (default): 10:30am, 6120 Winchester Rd
7. Holy Trinity UCC, 685 S. Highland Street, 11am
8. First Congregational UCC, 10:30am, 1000 S. Cooper
9. Shady Grove Presbyterian
10. Jacob's Well
11. Hope Presbyterian 8, 930, 1115, 530 sun. On sat 530.
12. Life Church cordova sun 830 10am 11:30am sun 6pm Sat. Highland: 10am and 11:30am. 
13. My dad's old church- have to find my notes of where that is. 
14. Freedom's Chapel Christian Church, 961 Getwell Rd, 901-244-7661
15. MS Blvd Christian Church
16. Gifts of Life Ministries, 8am, 3381 Raleigh-Millington Road
17. Binghampton UMC (formally Everett UMC)
18. Lindenwood Christian Church
19. Cathedral of Praise, 561 S. Prescott, , 12:30pm.
20. Unity Church of Christianity, 3345 McCorkle Road, 11am
21. First Presbyterian Church, 166 Poplar Avenue, 11am
22. Living Word Chrisian Church, 1015 S. Cooper Street, 10am
23. Christ City Church
24. Unity Church of Practical Christianity, 9228 Walnut Grove, 10:30am
25. Salem Gilfield Baptist Church, 3176 Kimball Avenue, 11am. Because Pastor (?) Stanford Hunt invited me at an event for the homeless and I was glad to see him there. 

Also, it's occurred to me that I can have some default churches to attend when no other plan is in place. Lady B would love for me to join her at her church. My current commitment is First Sundays but yes, it can help me reach my 2-3 visits per month quota. New Direction Christian Church is a place that I'm fond of in many ways and used to listen to faithfully online. In fact, I think I'll listen to them this morning. And One Faith Christian Center is pastored by a relative and has quite an enjoyable and inspiring service. Look at that-- my default churches can fill my 3 visits per month by themselves. 

Wow. That list is bit, or lot, longer than I anticipated. I guess I have some places to go!

Thursday, October 2, 2014

October plans

July brought storms with my dad's death and a burglary and the break down of my relationship with what was close paternal family.

August is a bit of a blur. I suspect I spent a lot of time taking care of dad's affairs. I also contacted my landlord and stated intent to vacate at the end of September.

September, I moved out of my apartment and in with Lady B. The move is to be temporary while I clean out/unpack/set up my house. September, her mom died.

October, my intention is/was to wind down a bit, to sit and enjoy a bit of life. It started with a funeral but there are many days left to see what comes. Some things that I do want to experience this month are:
1. Have ice cream with my youngest nephew, Kashe
2. Have my car detailed, shampoo included
3. Tea, spanakopita, and chat with James and possibly Tre (and Lady B) at the place on Germantown Parkway
4. LezBiFriends Event
5. Mini-vacation with Lady B. Currently talking about Hot Springs.
6. Pedicure
7. Dye my hair (semi-permanent)
8. Take the family to Jasmine's Thai
9. Take Lady B on a date
10. Double date with niece +1
11. Schedule a meal with my paternal cousins :)

Thursday, August 28, 2014

notifying credit bureaus of loved one's death

The South Carolina Department of Consumer Affairs

Wrapping up the loose ends of deceased family member can be a daunting task. Notifying the credit bureaus can often be an after thought or even over looked all together. But the South Carolina Department of Consumer Affairs (SCDCA) wants consumers to be aware that deceased loved ones can be victims of identity theft, too. Follow these instructions in order to minimize the chance of identity theft of your deceased loved ones.

Notifying the Credit Bureaus of a Death
Follow these steps for notifying the credit bureaus of a family member’s death:
1. Request copies of the death certificate. You will send these to the credit bureaus (as well as any
creditors that the deceased may have, that are still unaware of the death).
2. Draft a notification letter. Utilize SCDCA’s sample letter for notifying the credit bureaus of
the death or draft a letter containing the following information:
a. Your name and contact information.
b. The deceased’s name, social security number, prior three addresses in
the past five years, date of birth, location of birth and date of death.
c. Specify your relationship to the deceased and provide supporting
documents, as required.
d. Ask that the credit bureau post on the decedent’s credit report:
“Deceased, Do Not Issue Credit.”
e. Request a current copy of the decedent’s credit report.
3. Send the notification letter and death certificate copy to the bureaus. Keep copies of your
originals and send the letters certified mail, return receipt requested to:
Equifax, Office of Consumer Affairs, PO Box 105139, Atlanta, GA 30348
Experian, PO Box 2002, Allen, TX 75013-9595
TransUnion, PO Box 2000 Chester, PA 19022
4. Review the credit report and ensure that all the accounts are marked as deceased. If they are
not, the process for notifying a creditor is similar to the process listed above. However, verify
what documentation may be required with individual creditors.

This site also has a form one can use.


Legacy Drawer

Legacy Drawer: Keep Your Family Prepared

Don't overlook this essential part of your financial plan

from on 07 Oct 2010
If you've listened to Dave for any amount of time, you've heard him talk about the Legacy Drawer. So what is it? Basically, it's a drawer that houses all of the important information your family needs in case something happens to you. Preparing for when you are no longer here is not a fun task, but it's crucial to do this for your family.
Every household needs a Legacy Drawer. It doesn't matter if you're single with no kids or 76 and have 12 grandkids—you need a Legacy Drawer. It's the last gift you will give your family, so make it a good one. If you truly care about your loved ones, you will take the time to create a Legacy Drawer.
The drawer should be somewhere in your home and contain everything your spouse or family needs to know if you aren't around—anything that has to do with your financial life should be in that drawer. You must organize it in a way that anyone can find a specific document in 30 seconds. All files should be clearly marked, in order, and easy for a grieving family member to find. There's no need to go into extreme detail when creating your Legacy Drawer. Simply include the appropriate documents in an easy-to-understand format, and you're good to go!
We recommend that your Legacy Drawer contain 11 things. Although it may seem daunting to gather all of this material together, you will be happy you did once the Legacy Drawer is created.
  1. Cover Letter – This is simply a letter stating the purpose of the Legacy Drawer. Nothing fancy, just a way to introduce your loved ones to the contents of the drawer.
  2. Will and Estate Plans – All information pertaining to your will and estate, including names of the executor and Power of Attorney should be located in one file.
  3. Financial Account – Anything that has money in it and your name on it should be listed in the Legacy Drawer. This includes account names, amount and account numbers.
  4. Funeral Instructions – All details and specifications for funeral plans should be listed so the family can fulfill your wishes. If you are married, you need one for you and one for your spouse.

  5. Insurance Policies – All insurance information, including health, car, disability, term life, etc., should be combined into one single document for easy reference. List the type of insurance, who the policy is for, contact information and policy numbers.
  6. Important Documents – Any legal or other important documents you have should be noted in the file. This includes deeds, birth certificates, Social Security cards and titles.
  7. Legacy Letters – Since the intention behind the Legacy Drawer is to keep your legacy going after you've passed away, it's a great idea to include letters to your loved ones.
  8. Monthly Budget – Add a copy of your written budget, so your spouse or loved ones know how to operate your household once you're gone. This will help your family keep track of bills and focus on more important things.
  9. Tax Returns – Keeping tax returns in your Legacy Drawer is like an insurance policy for yourself in the event that you get audited from the IRS. Hopefully you never have to pull them out, but if you do, at least you are prepared.
  10. Safe Deposit Box – Keep copies of all your Legacy Drawer papers in a safe deposit box—you can never be too careful. Include information in your Legacy Drawer on where your safe deposit box is and who has access to it.
  11. Passwords – Write down all passwords, combinations, usernames and PIN numbers. This information allows your loved ones access to any documents, money or information that is left when you are gone.
If you put your mind to it, you can create your Legacy Drawer in 30 days! It's tedious to gather all of the documents and paperwork that goes into the drawer, but it's a necessary task in order to protect you and your family.


Monday, July 21, 2014

1st day back at work

Today was hard. My girl, Lady B, called me at 7am. 7am phone ringing generally means a call from dad. Today, I knew it wasn't him.

Went to work just sad.

Spoke to a former client this afternoon. He reminds me of my dad in ways-- always talking about the Bible, served in Germany, takes on his daughter's worries as his own. It was a bittersweet call. I'm glad that he and his daughter are able to be close. I listened to him and grieved my own.

I blasted Nirvana's Nevermind on my way towards the house.

Now, it is time for bed. Good night.

Friday, July 18, 2014

life unfolding

I don't have time to really bring you up to speed so here's me jumping into the whirlwind of life recently.

Last week, my dad died. Found his body on Tuesday; think he died on Monday. Last saw him that Sunday night. :(

Tuesday- dad's funeral.

Wednesday- woke up feeling better than I did. Perhaps the burial is the beginning of healing? But then....

Wednesday- family drama began. Dad's side. I'll call them FM & JW. They lured me to my dad's house after I told them I was handling something else at the time. Falsely reported that I was being robbed so of course, police were called.

Thursday- JM tried to rob me. A car. I called the police. They let him go.

Today (Friday)- I'm taking out a restraining order. Living in a state where close family inspires high blood pressure, high blood sugar, higher levels of pain, shaking (body), racing heart, nausea, and just sadness and disappointment is not okay.

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Memphis church search

One way my behaviors have changed from my new relationship is that I'm *in* church more on Sundays. I didn't make it today due to insufficient planning and communication, but I'm attempting to act from that place of dedication with online church acts. Today's church to visit was going to be Christ City Church. I selected it because I first saw it's sign inside Minglewood Hall, which houses two concert stages, a hookah lounge, and a tattoo parlor. It was the night I went to the Valerie June concert, the night I said, "This church chose to be between a hookah lounge and tattoo parlor; what do they have going on inside?" The Internet tells me that there services are at 10 am on Sundays and it seems they have moved to an elementary school because that location would put them at an intersection of class and race (or something like that). Okay. A vision for diversity? Pro-active steps to diversify? I can still check you out. The location I saw in an arts district-- Broad Avenue-- seems to be their administrative office. Still, location, location; I'm curious. What I don't like is that their ministers/elders are all male. Is that an official stance, Rev. McIntosh? Perhaps time will tell. Perhaps I will never be drawn so strongly that I especially care. This morning, I listened to a podcast where the pastor preaches from my favorite book, James. He definitely took it directions I did not anticipate and I found myself wanting to listen to his full 45 minute (!!wth?!) sermon. A visit is now an objective for July.

So, the 2014 Memphis church search-- I've been silent so far. I've gone to Robyn's church a few times and agreed to visit it on first Sundays with her-- a reoccurring date of sorts. She goes to visit a church with me at least once per month as well. So far, Freedom's Chapel is the only honest "what's this church like?" trip I've had. It's on my list of churches to visit because it's (or although?) predominately black, it's open and affirming, i.e., fully accepting of LGBT people. The pastor didn't preach the week we went so I have no clue what that's like; Robyn and I both want to go back for that reason. The church spoke of social justice but displayed many aspects of traditional, "black" church services. They spoke of tea parties, gave awards during service, and had the kids write and recite a poem about one of the members. I'm sure there's an Easter program ;). Old meets new-- could be interesting. There are other possibilities  on that as well, of course.

Our second church to visit, One Faith Christian Center, is pastored by my cousin. It's like I just wanted to show her my cousin's church. I enjoy the service whenever I visit so maybe I thought she would too? In retrospect, I don't know why I wanted to take her there, but I did. The suggestion was put out there probably before I even knew I would be moving to Memphis; it just took us a while to actually get there. So, once again, I enjoyed the service. I felt that I walked away with lots of inspiring words, metaphorical meat to take me on my way. What I noticed is that there is a bit of pomp and circumstance there. It isn't bad in my opinion, just noticeable. For example, the pastor entered as the choir was singing. On cue, the congregation stood up and waited for him to sit down before taking their seats again. Respect... I guess. When a room full of men do it for a woman entering the room, that's what we call it. Why blast it when done for "a man of the cloth"? So again, just noticeable. I've long seen confirmations that my cousin's call is real-- power is what I've seen to be frank-- now I'm also seeing sincerity in his mission and desires to strengthen and help others. It occurs to me that now that Memphis is again home, I guess his church needs to be on my list of places to consider as my new church home. There are reasons I don't think it'll happen, but perhaps I should give him a fair shot? I've kind of learned not to show up believing I know what kind of church I'm looking to join. Generally, that image has not been where I landed. So, I can say that traditional is not my anticipation but it can happen. There are things within tradition that I like so why not? haha

Last, there's Robyn's church that I should now consider as a potential home church. Sadly, I don't naturally feel that pull. That being said, some sermons grab me more than others and I'm sure that I have to look outside their sanctuary to decide rather or not it's the place for me. I do that extra step for all churches receiving serious consideration; hers is no different. If I do happen to fall for it and she and I don't work out, there would be the awkwardness of us being in one body as happened for her and her ex. Her ex left, which worked out nice for my gf. If we do work out and I actually join and love another body, that can be awkward because we wouldn't necessarily have that oneness that some families have on Sunday mornings. As is, I enjoy the oneness we get at least twice per month. I don't think she quite knows how much I appreciate her slipping out of her congregation, even if only once per month, to join me elsewhere. Likewise, it's nice that it means so much to her for me to join her inside her spiritual, structural home.


Friday, April 11, 2014

health tip

I read this on something my insurance company mailed me. I like it. I'm recording it. Simple. I should be putting it on sparkpeople but I don't even know where to find my blog on that page. I'm thinking of signing up on a different fitness site, starting over. Have any suggestions for someone more interested in improving their health and building strength and endurance than weight loss? Anyhow, the tip:

List the eating and exercise habits you'd like to change, and select one to work on. Don't try to change a second bad habit until the first one has become a good habit.


Sunday, March 30, 2014

mysterious, growing bumps

this is one of those times when i would have called beth. im just saying.  i miss my sis. it still doesnt seem real.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

My insides are numb. A friend died today. My first friend to die. More on that later.