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Thursday, April 1, 2010

a basic day

Today, my body remembered what it’s like to be in pain. The more interesting question to me is why do I feel as I do today? The leading theory is because I’m eating nightshade plants but alternate explanations include it being a result of me fighting a cold, it being caused by me “sneaking” sweets (lindt chocolate, a chocolate heart, and 2 chocolate donuts within 1 week. Ouch.), and/or my recent fatigue. My pain is at a dull 6. I hate dull pains because ibuprofen won’t silence it. It’s like pain has a hold in the center of my body and radiates outward. I went to a training this morning during which we had to introduce ourselves with an adjective that starts with the same letter as our first name. I was tempted to be “Achy Amy”. However, I feel gratitude in knowing that this pain is all part of my experiment and the process to live a life of so much less pain in the long run.

Wednesday, I decided to start exercising before I go to work. I’d like to accomplish that twice a week. I’m planning a gradual increase in how early I get up. This week, I’m trying to wake up early enough to exercise 30 minutes before work. Later, I’d like to have a full hour. Wednesday, my alarm went off at 5am. The goal was to be up by 5:30 and be back from the gym by 6:30am. The reality is I hit snooze a bunch, though I don’t remember it, and finally got up at 6:45am. Although I stayed in bed as long as usual, it was apparent that the continuous buzzing disturbed my quality of sleep. All day, I was tired. In fact, I went home around 3:30 and napped for 2.5 hours.

Client has been inviting to the one year celebration of her 12-step meeting attendance, memorialized by her selecting a special speaker for her meeting and her receiving a new medallion. I’m honored. She’s the first person who has invited me to this momentous event but she’s not the first to reach that milestone. She told me the church and the time; I showed up and spent 25 minutes looking for the group. It was creepy. I got in the church but it was eerily empty. It felt kind of like I was in a horror film. I haven’t seen her since yesterday afternoon when I told her I’d be there. I wonder what she thinks of my “no show”. I also wonder where in the world they were! I asked a couple of different people but the info they gave on where I might find them was not helpful.

Cindi is not my girlfriend anymore. I don’t like that though. I check facebook daily to see if she’s listed as single and rejoice in how her status listing has not changed (then again, I don't know if she realizes her status hasn't changed. She removed it from one part of the site but she's listed as in a relationship in another part of it.). Next week, I need to go to Nashville for my job. My hope is to get her to sleep on my pillow so I can take her scent back home with me. Monday night, my pillow smelt like her and it was heavenly. When I woke up during the night to sniff her (I felt like a hound), her scent was gone. In retrospect, I realize I should have slept on a different pillow and cradled her pillow throughout the night so the smell would have lasted longer. Lesson learned. In many ways, the break up doesn't seem real to me yet.

The gluten free, yeast free pizza was delicious! I am tired of basically eating the same foods over and over. I suppose the intelligent response to that is to read a cookbook and find new things to eat. Instead, I deal with it by sulking.

My cousin and his family that live in VA were in Memphis today and yesterday. I got to sit with them for a few hours today and learned that the wife and kiddies will likely be out of town when I am in their area this summer. That sux!

Again, I’m very tired. Awesome Amy in and out.

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