told, a poem

This is the poem I wrote 3 hours before my first date with not Cindi. I'm conflicted. I really would not say yes if she asked me out right not but I would rejoice inside. I really do want to move on and have kind of hoped for a distraction, but I'm also nervous about his high pitch voice and habits and interests that are much like hers. The poem was in one sitting. Read it or don't. Critique it or not. I'll keep it or not. For now, I move on.

Told

I told you I love you
You told me you love me too
I told you I wanted to marry you and sale corn bread sandwiches off the back porch of our beach house
You told me I made you nervous, that commitment was too much
Then you told me you wanted me to move 300 miles from my family to be with you

You sent my head spinning, girl
You and your disbelief
You and your ambivalence
One day you're hot, one day you're cold
Every day I'm in love waiting for you to love me back

I volunteered to live the starving artist lifestyle with you
I volunteered to do all the work
I volunteered to leave my sick father for you
I volunteered to love your cat
I'd give you my everything girl, but you only gave me mixed signals

I gave you options and choices
You told me you need more options and choices
I gave you more space and time
You said you needed more space and time
I told you I didn't like all the space
You said they're be less space... again
You said we'd grow closer and in that you'd know if you should stay or leave
You told me, you told me
I told you I love me

I'm cutting you lose girl
Except I can't 'cause you're in my heart
You're in my mind, my intentions, my thoughts, my very breathe
You've left me wrecked girl
I see him but see you too

I told you I'm leaving
You told me you're relieved 'cause you don't have to make a choice
I told you I still love you
You said nothing

I told you I love you, girl
You told me you love me too
I told you I love me, girl
Can you please do that too?


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