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Thursday, July 15, 2010

fibro monster

I feel a little guilty. I didn't go to work this morning. My muscle did something wicked during my morning stretch today, causing one of those blinding pains where I literally don't know what to do because it hurts so bad. From there, I couldn't walk. Not much of an issue initially. I hopped from my bed to my computer chair, somehow took a muscle relaxer, and sat with my heating pad for a hour. It didn't solve the issue. I called in and did about 2 hours of work by phone. Then I preceded to sleep the day away.

I just don't know how it sounds when I call in for fibro stuff. I don't think it makes sense to people. My boss strongly encouraged me to go the doctor if it hurt so bad I couldn't walk. My sentiment is why; doctors can't do much for fibromyalgia patients anyway. I just need to wait it out. Do my fibro sisters feel the same way-- why bother going to the doctor when they don't really know how to make you better?

I'm better now though not great. I'm sensitive all over. I soaked in epson salt but wasn't sure I would be able to deal with the sensations the water caused. I did. I'm not sure it helped. I had pain all over when I got out but took Trammadol and a muscle relaxer to make me feel better. It worked. I'm sleepy again. I plan to go in tomorrow limping or not, assuming I can stand. I can currently stand but feel increased pain within 5 minutes of standing so prefer to stay off of my legs as much as possible. The worse thing about today is I missed a really important meeting. If I hadn't slept though my lunch time alarm, I could have gotten ready in time to be at that 30 minute meeting. I guess I just worry about my image at work in general. I think my House Manager might understand a little more because her son has sickle cell but still fibromyalgia makes sense to so few.

Good night.

1 comment:

  1. ugh, *hugs*
    i get you. i used to work for Zach's aunt and would call out for my fibro pain *1 b/c it was a somewhat "casual" job but, i felt awful about it b/c wouldn't she think i was lazy? undependable?

    anyway, i irritate everyone around me b/c i'm pretty anti doctor. besides the money issue almost all of my doctors have failed me massively. like after i was first diagnosed my GP sent me to a rheumatoid specialist and the jerk looked at me for five minutes, told me to lose weight, and then sent me on my way. (and charged me quite a bit for his "advice")
    My gynocologist essentially ignored my concerns (email me if you want to talk more about this b/c i certainly don't have anyone else) and i ended up crying in my car after my appointment...sigh...

    also, i have found a great online community for people with fibro and other chronic health's on ravelry which is actually a knitting/crochet site but, i have already learned so much! "Chronic Bitches" is the name of the group. my username is xoxok.