fitness blossom

Exercising felt good today. There were surprises.

Frustrated by my inability to locate my cell phone mp3 player, I stepped onto the treadmill. 2.5 for 2 minutes warm up. 8 minutes at 3.0 and then surprise! 1 minute run (jog) at 4.0. gasp, gasp, gasp, gasp, gasp, gasp. I caught my breathe again at 3.0. 8 minutes, then run, run, run, run, run. gasp, gasp, gasp, gasp. This time, I caught my breathe sooner; perhaps I found the trick-- deep breaths in, quick release out. 1 minute 3.0, 30 seconds 2.5, 1 minute 2.0, 30 seconds 1.5, off. I threw my foot on the wall and began to stretch. Then, my final surprise: 30 crunches instead of 25 and a decision to continue with an increase of 5 per week until I reach 50. Then, add angles.

I feel good.

also, I ordered a new keyboard for my laptop. Maybe my "a" problem will be over soon.

adrenal fix 1, 2, 3...

My instructions on how to "fix" my adrenals and not be so drained?
(1) Exercise more
(2) Sleep more
(3) Eat less carbs
(4) Take more pills

My realization, once I stopped exercising and quite the allergy elimination diet, was that taking the pills was not enough. Well, pills & sleep. I love to sleep.

This week, stomach virus put me on my ass for days. as I recovered from that, I returned to exercising. Slowly. and I reached my 3 days/wk goal. The first day, I felt like shyt so I talked myself into 10 minutes, then a 2 minute cool down. Then I decided I'm okay with resuming there. 12 minutes, 2.5 wlk. Today, I bumped it to 3.0 'cause 2.5 is for sissies (so is 3, btw). Today, I feel proud. It wasn't much. It was like a place-holder and I kept going back.

The plan? This coming week 3.0 for 22 minutes. Then, 30 minutes.

I didn't have a plan when I got on the treadmill but I did have my inspiration poster staring me in the face.



I've been gravitating towards the Marathon shots.


One is from Minnie, an inspiration I found a while back while searching for blogs from other ppl with fibromyalgia. She is in fabulous shape. amazing. She disappeared from her blog just after I found her; now she's back... and starting over fitness-wise. That inspires me too. She was able to do so much. I'm always amazed by how quickly runners lose their endurance. anyhow, Minnie is basically doing couch potato to runner kind of plan. She's at 4 minutes of walking, 1 minute of running. We're starting over together.

This is the other marathon photo I have.




I like the look of her strength. I think, in part, I like these shots because they represent hard work and training, goal met. achievement.

Good Riddance

Thanks, Pandora

my St. Luke's Experience 1

Today's church experience made me feel warm. Far from being Episcopal, I went to St. Luke's Episcopal Church.

I felt odd going there because it's where Monica attends but she's never invited me to come. It could have been a natural invite both when we talked about me visiting places in an attempt to find a church and also when I asked her if she had ever heard of St. Luke's and if it's the place she goes. Showing up could be like invading her space and I don't want to do that. She wasn't there today. I went because it's Episcopal and the Episcopal Bishop is gay; why not be open and affirming? More so, I went because a guy at TEP told me to go there. He thinks it will be safe so I decided to check it out. SN: Bishop Robinson is listed as the New Hampshire bishop on wikipedia. Maybe Jackson's Episcopal bishop isn't gay after all. Oh well.

Other cons of the church: Quiet-style. Kneeling. Afraid I'll fall asleep. lol

On to some pros:
They said a prayer I remember praying before and liking even then. I suppose it's a common Episcopal prayer, perhaps something I'll read each time I'm there? It goes:

Most merciful God, we confess that we have sinned against you in thought, word, and deed, by what we have done, and by what we have left undone. We have not loved you with our whole heart; we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves. We are truly sorry and we humbly repent, for the sake of your Son Jesus Christ, have mercy on us and forgive us; that we may delight in your will, and walk in your ways, to the glory of your Name. Amen.

They do that extended call and response before communion. I LOVE saying, "Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ WILL come again." Most folk don't seem to emphasize the "will" though :/.

Initial observations: older, white congregation. Then I looked to my right and saw that all of the young people sat there. I found it funny that Monica talks about her young congregation when only about 1/3 of them are young. I had a totally different imagine of who was there from her comments verses what I actually saw. White. All white. Towards the end of service, I saw another black. He was sitting in the corner on stage so I couldn't see him seated. He saw me when I went up for communion. His eyes lit up when he served/saw me. I think he's excited to have another black person there. It's okay to be in service with all white people when black, but it's better when it's not that way imo. Even if he and I are the only two, we are no longer alone and maybe others will come. I spoke to this minister after service. His name is Brodrick and he's a Social Work major thinking of entering "the ministry". We chatted for a while at the door leading out of the sanctuary. I stood in line to shake hands on my way out. My meeting with him just happened to not be so brief. I look forward to chatting with him more.

I also spent a while chatting with the Rector (pastor), Father Sean. I mentioned starting Small Town Progressives when I got here to meet people and he told me I was in a good spot to meet other progressives. Yea! And, they're reading Love Wins. You know, the first time I went to Rock Bridge in MO they were talking about a book some Quaker ministers wrote that exclaimed God's saving love for all that pissed off people.... The reading group meets at 9:45-- that's painfully early to me. I wonder how far along the are in the book. Maybe I should join them.

Other people were especially friendly to me when it was time to greet one another during service. One man made me think of my Italian uncle that I don't have. Loved him. I enjoyed my brief talk with a really tall guy that's a student at Freed-Hardman at service's end. I squealed, "Wait! I can't be first in line on the way out. I don't know what to do," as he was in front of me then got out of line, as if waiting on someone. A brief chat followed. He seems to be friends with Broderick.

So it was a good experience. It was socially positive but the question remains, can I be an Episcopal? If I do stay, Monica and I can have different circles... kind of. There were like 60 ppl there. Still, I can not hover around her and find my own way there if I stay. Yes I can.

life in 4 pics

This year, I have new types of items for the Art for Hope fundraiser art fair. I'm quite excited to present my first magnets and bookmarks:


I plan to make these magnets too:






















Also, there is new reading:


I'm enjoying the Gita, though I've read less than 1 chapter. It was awkward at first, but now I see it in light of Life and Christian Scripture. It's beautiful for the most part.

There is so much to be done before the Nov 3 art show. So much, so much, so much. I guess this weekend will bring cards, magnets, and more bookmarks?

I stopped dating Memphis. I did like her but I did not like the drama of the two of us as such. We still talk daily but now 1-2x per day instead of 3-4x. I suspect the decision to leave a romantic us alone was a good idea.

All week, I've been way too sleepy. Tonight, I will be in bed by 9pm. I quit the allergen elimination diet but I do have an appointment to talk to a doctor on Monday about a food sensitivity test, the ALCAT.

Tonight, I went to my first ever TEP meeting. I have mixed reactions to it. They seem busy and energetic, but a space for me was not obvious from the interactions I had. I recently read that they are forming a faith outreach committee. "Formed" and closed is a better description. Last month, Tilley told them she had a friend she thinks would be interested in helping with it. They were focused on trying to convince a certain someone else to do it. A day or two ago, on facebook, I said I couldn't make the meeting due to a scheduling conflict but would like for someone to contact me about the faith outreach committee. No response yet, but I just posted it, right? Tonight, I was there and voiced my interest. Nothing. There are 2 ppl working on that and they will continue to do so. Well okay then. I'll watch them a little more before I make a conclusion on our relationship. They probably will be a group to make progress but that doesn't mean I don't need to show up to their events just to be another warm body without a real voice. Many people and groups will allow me to stand with them and say what they think should be said. I prefer to spend my time doing more.

The faith outreach update did allow a 30 second blurb about churches. St. Luke's Episcopal was recommended. I'm not sure that I can be Episcopal but they were already on my list of places to check out. One of the guys who got their ass kicked by the church folk said Truth and Love was a good spot-- non-affirming maybe, but non-condemning. I politely raised my hand and disagreed when he said they don't preach against homosexuality. I guess he missed my memo.

dream

I just woke up from a nap, sleep to supplement my disturbed sleep from last night and help keep me going. I fell asleep to For the Bible Tells Me So and incorporated the death threats for Bishop Gene Robinson into my dreams. Having one's being threatened does not make for relaxing sleep. I tried to get out of the dream but it resulted in me being terrorized by a cop and abused with helicopter wings (we knows dreams don't make much sense, right). Nedra Johnson was there and brought some intellectual comfort but there was a division between us. She was there as a a celebrity giving music lessons of various kinds. She was a stranger to me, someone I planned to visit for a guitar lesson before she left (she was to be in the area for 2 weeks for the lessons). She was in no way involved in the threats I received but served more like a reminder that I'm not alone. I was so glad when my alarm went off 'cause it finally brought me out of the dream. Sad thing is what I really remember hearing about Jackson before moving here is about all of the people assaulted for their sexual orientation. We don't really have places for communion like we do in Memphis. I think there used to be a bar but it was issue-filled.