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Monday, January 31, 2011

accepting the new in life

Feb. 18- my last day in my current position :).

Feb 28th- my first day with VA.

Jan 31st- day 1 of packing, the day pictures were taken of my apartment.

I turned in my resignation today. Now, I should probably be packing instead of blogging, but here I am. Let's see how long it takes for my apartment to actually look like I'm planning to move.

They rented the house I love, love in Jackson so I'm going to skip out on Believe out Loud to go back to Jackson to view new houses. My mom is coming with. I need to call the property company to reserve a time.

Health: Ouch! But I've been quite productive this weekend despite the pain. I woke up every 2-3 hours as I slept Friday night so I got up around 7 or 8 on Saturday. I washed 4 loads, spent 2.5 hours cleaning, folded all of my waiting laundry, and ate breakfast by noon. Swoosh! I'm preparing myself to get back into yoga. I can tell several differences now that I'm "off", i.e., taken a multi-month break. (1) My breathing is more shallow and my doctor fuses at me when I go to see him due to inadequate breathing. (2) It takes more effort and concentration to breath deeply, do equal breathing, and also unequal breathing. Those exercises are no longer natural. (3) My mind won't shut up. Lately, it thinks too much about a certain someone which makes it even more difficult for me to get good rest. Before, I may have slept poorly but it wasn't because I couldn't get someone or even something off of my mind. Plus, I don't even know WHY those thoughts are there. With the yoga, my goal is to do 3 at home sessions, 30 minutes each, before I go back to class. I've done it twice for 30 minutes and lasted 20 today. I think someone going by my apartment would have thought I was receiving undesired anal sex. ouch! I don't know why it hurt so bad but eventually I gave up. In yoga, you stick your toe in the pool of pain; you don't jump in. I thought that maybe I pulled something.... In terms of my 2011 health goals, I'm doing a horrible job of working towards accomplishing them. My intention is to count my carbs and gradually drop them to a level appropriate for a diabetic. My reality is that I eat lots of high carbs food and generally forget to keep count.

I was lonely quite a bit last week. That sadness will probably come back but at this moment, I'm good. I have a new friend. We've been talking for a while on okcupid. I asked her what kind of success she's had on the site. She said she's made one friend and stupid me didn't realize she was talking about me! I followed up by asking questions about this friend. lol. Her message was a real pick me up. I'm tentatively scheduled to meet someone from there on Wednesday. I'm iffy on if I'm going to go. I think he's more about a relationship and/or sex than I am. My page clearly says I'm only recently single and don't want to get into anything now. (2) I'm leaving town in 6 weeks. What's the point? On the flip side, there's the curiosity. Cindi thinks he'll be hot because he's a body builder. I think he's a little skinny and young (25).

I've been going to church a bit this year. It feels good. Saturday, I went to Jacob's Well. It was nice. I respect what the minister is trying to do there. A few weeks before, I went to my cousin's church. Wow. Power. Also, I've been reading from a guidepost devotional several times each week. It's been a good start to the year.

Enough for now. I'm sure you're ready to stop reading if you didn't stop 100s of words ago.



  1. Yoga, "you stick your toe in the pool of pain"?
    Honey, what are you doing? How very descriptive of a powerful experience, but yoga?

    Hugs on both sides as you find your breath, and still your mind. Where yoga is the union of mind, body and breathe we bring our awareness first to the breathe, noticing how we open and expand, breathing in those qualities need to heal our lives. Exhaling we release that which is no longer necessary, accepting the shifts in our world and blessing the change.

    Sending you love and light, even as we navigate the darkness (and grow).

  2. Well, that's what my Thursday night teacher always said. I think her point was to challenge yourself but don't kill yourself. If you feel pain, stop or pull back. It's not a marathon. It's a journey, not a destination. But still with a bit of no pain, no gain, yes. That's how she is.