Posts
Enough?
God loves me
Jesus died for me
But the church doesn't want me
Apparently, I'm not enough
I want to grow up and have a wife
A joined savings account
A boy & a girl
2.5 cars
a church home
a future
But that's not okay, says the Church
Okay, only if you're straight
Jesus loves me
Agape is the call
But, some of you out there don't want me in your church
I'm not worthy of the Lord's Word
If I could walk out of my being and be straight like you
Then I can apply for membership
Some of you out there don't want me to have my job
A queer girl helping others?
God forbid!
People might get the wrong idea and think that queers can be good people
Obviously not, we're not good enough
Some of you don't want me to have a family
Easy access to my mate in the ER
My child in her classroom
My father-in-law at the nursing home
Because apparently, I'm not good enough
John 3:16 says God so loved the world
But I guess I forgot its exclusion list
Perhaps the world added it as a foot note and I picked up the wrong copy of the Word
But no worries-- the people have spoken loud and clear: God does not love me
God loves me
Jesus died for me
But the church doesn't want me
Apparently, I'm not enough
And the church would know, seeing that they are the human children of God
Far be it from me to actually listen to
the Word
I was gonna go to the Episcopal church, where I think the pastor is probably non-condemning of homosexuality but my hair wasn't dry and I can't go with roller rods in my head :/. Instead, I listened to Stacy Spencer, pastor of New Direction Church in Memphis (non-affirming) and created a list of Methodist and Disciple of Christ (mostly) churches in this area for me to check out. Goal: Research at least 3 a week. Also, go and visit. And, I wrote the above posted poem. It's hard to wake up and visit some place that you're 98% sure thinks you in your very essence is a sin.
How do so many just go to church and not mind the message? Since I was steeped in some form of authenticity, I find it unsettling to listen to condemnation from the pulpit. On the other hand, I know I have shared pews with folk who drifted in reeking of the night before. I have attended services with "flaming" choir directors and members. When I mentioned the few queer folks I could identify from my youth, I was offered a long list of others and their partners.
ReplyDeleteBeing "queer" has never been accepted in the world I left; yet, in looking back my community was quite populated with visible folk. Did the church really believe they were abstinent? Were they more invested in the Sunday morning emotional ride than the vehicle that carried them?
It was unacceptable to even look "queer." Back in the days of baggy pants (fitted at the hips and loose in the legs), men who dressed indiscreet were considered "funny, sweet, light in the loafers." This was judgment of appearance.
What happen to the message of Love?
God is Love.
Jesus came not to condemn, but that the world though him might be saved. (John 3:17)
Blessing on your journey.
Some churches have openly gay people and everyone knows they are gay. The church that I listen to online is an example of such a church. The pastor preaches, preaches, preaches. Sometimes, he preaches against homosexuality. Sometimes, people even go up and confess? profess a desire to change? see the "sin" of their way. Mostly, people hear and keep on being themselves cause what else can they do?
ReplyDeleteThe poem's agreement with the majority is sarcasm but later, I thought maybe I really should leave Christianity alone. Maybe they are right in a way. After all, there are so many of them. Maybe I'll get with the christo-pagans a few towns over and do better with them. Everyone knows Christians don't like pagans. What'll be new there? On the other hand, pagans don't fancy Christians too much either so I'd just be doubly screwed (large generalizations, of course). And the big thing-- being fed up with the folk of "my" religion isn't really the same thing as not actually being a Christian.
Sunday morning is a miserable time for me :(.
Some churches have openly gay people and everyone knows they are gay. The church that I listen to online is an example of such a church. The pastor preaches, preaches, preaches. Sometimes, he preaches against homosexuality. Sometimes, people even go up and confess? profess a desire to change? see the "sin" of their way. Mostly, people hear and keep on being themselves cause what else can they do?
ReplyDeleteThe poem's agreement with the majority is sarcasm but later, I thought maybe I really should leave Christianity alone. Maybe they are right in a way. After all, there are so many of them. Maybe I'll get with the christo-pagans a few towns over and do better with them. Everyone knows Christians don't like pagans. What'll be new there? On the other hand, pagans don't fancy Christians too much either so I'd just be doubly screwed (large generalizations, of course). And the big thing-- being fed up with the folk of "my" religion isn't really the same thing as not actually being a Christian.
Sunday morning is a miserable time for me :(.