potential reads-- spiritually left

I am thinking of using meetup to start a non-church affiliated, lgbt & other folks affirming, Christian thought meeting group, mostly because the churches here aren't where I want to be. Or the Christian churches other places for the most part. I'm skipping some of the more important issues questions to ask myself, if I do start this group, what will we read?

I was just reading reviews of Help, Thanks, Wow by Anne Lamott. I started with the 2-star reviews; maybe that was a bad place to start. First, I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't buy this one; library only. Then I thought, hey! maybe this is a book to consider for that fictitious group.

I think of going to Lifeway to browse their selection in hopes of ideas but the idea of going there excites me about as much as going to a KKK rally or large southern Baptist church, things second only to visiting Westboro Baptist Church.

So here's the beginning of my list of book ideas:
1. Help, Thanks, Wow by Anne Lamott
2. Becoming a Thinking Christian: If We Want Church Renewal, We Will Have to Renew Thinking in the Church by John Cobb Jr.
3. Progressive Christians Speak: A Different Voice on Faith and Politics, Edited by John B. Cobb Jr. 
4.Unapologetic: Why, Despite Everything, Christianity Can Still Make Surprising Emotional Sense. Francis Spufford by Francis Spufford

5. The God We Never Knew: Beyond Dogmatic Religion To A More Authenthic Contemporary Faith

by Marcus J. Borg

 6. Skeptic in the House of God by James L. Kelley
7. The Phoenix Affirmations: A New Vision for the Future of Christianity by Eric Elnes
8. God is not a Christian & Other Provocations by Desmond Tutu
9.  Setting the Gospel Free  Experiential Faith and Contemplative Practice  by Brian C. Taylor-- definitely learn more about this one
10. Why Christianity Must Change or Die  A Bishop Speaks to Believers in Exile  by John Shelby Spong
11. The Heart of Christianity  Rediscovering a Life of Faith  by Marcus J. Borg

12. If the Church Were Christian  Rediscovering the Values of Jesus  by Philip Gulley
13. Reimagining Christianity Reconnect Your Spirit Without Disconnecting Your Mind by Alan Jones
14. Finding Our Way Again The Return of the Ancient Practices by Brian McLaren- yes
15. The Soul's Religion Cultivating a Profoundly Spiritual Way of Life by http://www.spiritualityandpractice.com/books/books.php?id=4201Thomas Moore
16. Knowing God Intimately: Being as Close to Him as You Want to Be by Joyce Meyer- possibly
17. Secrets to exceptional living- by Joyce Meyer- possibly
18. A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson
19. Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
20. the Bible Jesus Read by Philip Yancey-- only as part of a Bible Study
21. How to Listen to God by Charles Stanley
22. The Last Week by Marcus Borg & John Dominic Crossan-- Easter season
23. Forgotten God: Reversing Our Tragic Neglect of the Holy Spirit 

24. The Jesus I Never Knew by Philip Yancey  http://www.amazon.com/Jesus-Never-Knew-Study-Guide/dp/0310218055/ref=sr_1_17?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1378661302&sr=1-17&keywords=phillip+yancey+books 25. Change Your Words, Change Your Life: Understanding the Power of Every Word You Speak Hardcover by Joyce Meyer (Author)  26. How to Hear from God/Study Guide by Joyce Meyer  27. The first Paul : reclaiming the radical visionary behind the Church's conservative icon / Marcus J. Borg, John Dominic Crossan. -- maybe one day. probably not but maybe. 28. Mother Teresa [text (large print)] : come be my light : the private writings of the "Saint of Calcutta" / edited, and with commentary, by Brian Kolodiwjchuk.

Got any other suggestions for a Christian-leaning group of progressives that meet at a local winery when the weather is nice? lol. My list turned out to be a lot longer than I expected. The last 7 titles are on my bookshelf. Most of the others are books I came across from an Internet search. In the end, I'll probably pick a random bunch to investigate and take those to the first meeting. The others are still listed here and may be selected later.

Maybe for myself http://progressivechristianity.org/resources/fierce-with-age-chasing-god-and-squirrels-in-brooklyn/

practice test 1

I finally finished that practice test from a few weeks ago. Results are in and.... I passed (from what I hear. I haven't bothered to check official sources). I made a 73 on the test 1. 70 is required to pass. That's encouraging as I begin to work towards this test I feel all kinds of ways unprepared to take and a license I feel oh so unqualified to bear. There are parts of the test where I feel grossly inadequate and they reinforce the idea that I don't have LCSW training. Then there were pages were all of my answers were correct. In the end, I squeaked by. I'd like to pop an 80 on practice tests before the real deal and have a good 5 months to get there. Easy!  (?) 

I've decided to ditch the DSM in round II of studying and focus instead on my abnormal psychology book. 2 out of 2 LCSW's agree that the textbook will probably be enough. I wish I had my human development book but will seek one to borrow at some point since I don't.

I can do this.

another break up

* Full entry posted in livejournal. Sometimes, I just feel weird about all public content. Also feel weird about going to LJ as a primary posting spot. *

My heart aches, even as I know I asked her to leave.  I knew that change would be difficult, be sad, but I didn’t expect it to be so numbing. Words from loved ones have been reassuring but also a little embarrassing. I gave her a lot of time and patience because she asked me to. She said things would get better. She would change. She never had anyone to teach her before and she wanted to learn.  Now I question if it was largely a game to see how advantageous I could be for how long. 

I’ve come to a point where I think over relationships and question what things I can learn. I think I’m getting old, like my next serious relationship has to be the one or it’s over. Hahahahahahaha, right? Anyhow, lessons learned include:

11.       If you hear someone trying to borrow money from someone on your first date, run. Avoiding overhearing this early in the relationship is probably best.

22.      If you finding yourself saying, “our values are different” early on, walk away. Striving to find common ground or reasoning that the differences aren’t really that important isn’t worth it. One thing said to me (by a human) during the period when God was reassuring me left & right that she wasn’t the one is that you can stay with someone whose values are different for a year, but not for 5 years. We almost hit a year when I knew beyond doubt that we weren’t going to work. 

44.       I may need to be tougher on the financial requirements. Not sure how that would look. My current stance is I’m looking for a mate that can pay his or her bills, take care of his/her needs, and have $30 left each month to take me on a date. I think it’s pretty simple but multiple suitors have struck out on this requirement. So maybe I just need to do a better job of checking this requirement.

55.       There are some people with whom I instantly click. Our first conversation can easily be two, engaging hours. If this doesn’t happen with my date, two dates max should be allowed. I suspect the one I can spend forever with will be such a person. I don’t think it’ll be someone I have to get used to and get to know. I think they’ll intrigue me from the start. Maybe I’m intrigued because they’re a Gemini and not because we’re meant to be together but intrigue is a good start.

76.       People aren’t logical and methodical. Trying to end a relationship but be friendly is a challenge that usually isn’t accomplished in my experience. I do wonder if this is more problematic with black women than white women but even my friendship with Cindi ended over time.  I need to move forward with awareness that most people are going to act on emotion instead of logic so me trying to be reasonable, kind, and patient may not really be the best method since it’s not a solo project or experience. 

I don’t really regret letting her move in. I can see why some ppl might think I would or should but I don’t. I don’t know if it’s because I felt sincerely loved or because of some experience we had together. Maybe I just loved the frustrations—lol- but I doubt that. It could be because of the extent to which I opened myself up for this relationship. Maybe I needed to do that. I don’t regret August 2012 (move in). May 2012 (first date) maybe because using my “lessons learned” back then wouldn’t have allowed us to advance to this level. June & July 2013 maybe because I’d allowed some things to go on longer than kindness requires at that point. In retrospect, I realize that I didn’t help her by allowing her not to own up to some of her responsibilities. I question how much damage I did to myself by allowing it but know that no long term damage was sustained (I don’t think). I was more generous than I had to be and I’m grateful to myself for being that loving. Love in vein but loving nonetheless. 

I’m beginning to forgive. When I think about the essence of lying and the potential abyss of things I don’t know, disease grows. But when looking only at what is seen, I am okay. She packed and left without informing me she was going to move at that time. But she didn’t steal my stuff. She didn’t destroy anything. Thus far, to my knowledge, she hasn’t done anything strange online. All of these things can change but for now, nothing unforgiveable has occurred. Love, Peace.

the beginning of the study exercises

Tonight was my first night preparing for the LCSW exam... or my 2nd. You saw those posts. To get started, I thought I'd take a practice test to get a feel for what kind of questions I may see. Not too bad for someone that feels totally ill-prepared for what I am embarking upon. I took almost no clinical classes but soon I will be licensed as such. My prep wasn't formal or timed but I did make it through 33 practice questions. I decided to stop there so I could read the answers while the questions and my reasonings were fresh in my mind. 22/33 correct (66.7%). Of those missed:
6 were diagnostic/definitions-- not surprising as I know I don't know that stuff. That's why I've selected the DSM as my main study text. I'm debating on rather or not I want to reread my abnormal psychology book. Plus: it'll be simpler to read than the DSM. Con: it will have the same basic information as the DSM; perhaps I should spend my time elsewhere to get more varied information. Maybe I should read both but not read about the same topic in both books. For example, study personality disorders in the DSM but psychotic disorders in the abnormal psych book.
2 were general questions about the DSM, such as how it is organized.
1 was a question about medication. The question looked at the class of medication. When I read the explanation and saw what was listed as examples, I knew the right answer.
1 was an example of me being tricked by the wording. Part of what I hope to learn from practice tests is to be a careful reader and not get tricked out of correctly answering things I know. One missed. I focused on the wrong part of the question and probably answered a different question correctly (i.e., the one I was answering when marking my response). 
1 I classify as other/unknown. I still don't know what it's talking about.

The practice test has 150 questions. Seems like I'll be doing a cold practice for a while before really getting into the studying. Current status: assessing where I am and gleaning what type of materials need to be studied. Note to self: Read the NASW ethics book before taking this test. 

Any ideas of how I can exercise while sitting and studying? lol

Namaste.    

getting my game head on

more tips....

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Tips for Passing

I passed the exam on 4/16/08 on my first try. I have never studied so hard for an exam in my entire life. Luckily, it paid off! Following are the best tips I can offer to help you pass...

[1] Know yourself and how you study best.
I am a procrastinator by nature, and never wrote a college or graduate school paper until two days before it was due, no matter how far in advance I knew about the assignment. I purposefully scheduled my licensure exam to take place one week after I scheduled it. I scheduled the exam on a Friday for the following week. I knew that if I had done it any other way I would not have taken the time to study until the last minute. Be honest with yourself about your study habits. I've been out of school for several years, but remember well typing papers well into the morning.

[2] Use study guides.
I did not take the licensure exam prep class, but I know several people who did, and who were very nice in sharing the workbook that came with the class. This workbook is the veritable bible of the licensure exam. It has everything you need to know for the exam, plus practice tests. I know several people who have found the prep course helpful. Use case study books, the DSM, NASW Code of Ethics, CBT manuals, etc. These are your study guides. The exam will measure your knowledge of this material and your ability to apply it to brief case studies.

[3] Take several practice exams.
This was helpful to me for many reasons. First, it familiarized me with the type and format of questions that could appear on the actual exam. I have severe test anxiety, and knowing what to expect was very helpful.
Another purpose it served was to help me see in which areas I needed to focus more.

[4] Make flash cards.
I have never in my life done this before, but it helped!!! I made the cards while taking the practice exams. Whenever I would get an answer wrong, I would make a flash card out of it. These were a great review the morning of the exam.

[5] Know what to do FIRST/NEXT.
Knowing what to do FIRST or NEXT will make the difference in passing the exam.

[6] Read the question.
Slowly and carefully. Know what the question is asking. Pay attention to the first and last sentences in the case study; often the answer is within those two sentences. Look at the answers carefully. The answer is most likely within the question or case study. Look for similar wording. This could also be the difference in passing the exam.

[7] BREATHE.
As you will hear countless people tell you, this exam does not measure how good of a social worker you are. It also does not measure what you might actually do in practice.

starting to think about what i need to know

From http://lcsw.blogspot.com/2008/03/5-tips-for-passing-exam.html

5 tips for passing the exam

Reaching the point of taking the LCSW exam is a mixed blessing at best. It means that you have met the requisite hours of practice and supervision, which is a testament to your tenacity and clinical abilities. It also means that a new chapter of studying and anxiety is opened as you prepare to add four new letters behind your name and take a timed test that covers a broad range of topics.
From time to time I will receive emails from people who are preparing to take the exam or who have taken it and not passed. Inevitably, these emails include some request for advice about how to study or prepare for the exam. So, I thought I would cull the advice I have given over the past year or two into one post.
I am not doing this so that you will no longer email me. I do the best I can to respond to each one that I receive. I also know that I will not cover every anxiety or frustration with one post, but for those who like lists and things in a neat little package here are my tips for passing the exam.

1. Think about the way you study best and do that more often. There are a myriad of materials out there to help you prepare for the exams. These range from practice exams to study guides to study guides with practice exams, etc. Most, if not all, of these guides are dry as a bone and merely regurgitate the material you need to know to pass the exam. They have their formulas for getting the material across to you. However, they do not know you best, you do. So, take the materials you choose to study and adapt them to the ways in which you learn. For me, this blog is the result of the way I learn. I needed to re-write the material I was studying in my own words in order to really get a grasp on it. Instead of a pen and paper I took to my laptop and wrote a series of notes that became my study guide. All of the posts on this blog concerning the theories and methods were the result of my homemade study guide. So, think about the ways you learn: flashcards, quizzes, study groups, putting things in your own words, etc. and adapt the study guides to your taste not vice versa.
2. The exam doesn't care how you practice social work. This is one of the hardest lessons to learn and it took me a while to really grasp its meaning. My impression of the exam is that it does not measure real world application of Social Work principles and guidelines; instead, it measures "ideal" (read textbook) applications of these principles. One of the helpful things I took into the exam was a sense that I needed to reframe the questions so that my answers reflected not what I would do first but what "the book" would do first. Therefore, when I encountered a "what would you do first" question I could usually eliminate two of the responses right off the bat. Then I would generally choose the more conservative response from the remaining choices. This may not work for all of these questions but it helped me get into a frame of mind that had me answering questions as the book would want me to answer them rather than the way I think the questions should be answered.
3. The exam measures your ability to remember data. This is not an exam that measures the efficacy of your practice or your ability to help people in a way that empowers them. This exam measures your skills at memorization. Now, I realize this is a fairly cynical view of a standardized test. However, I cannot think of another way to put it. The national exam was created as a method to take the subjectivity of licensure committees out of the process and have an "objective" tool that measures knowledge of social work practice and principles. If you don't pass the first time around, it says absolutely nothing about how good a social worker you are. The only thing a failing score reveals is that you might need more time memorizing the material and putting it to use the way the test wants you to.
   
4. The exam is not always "right." The earlier you give up fighting the questions and their "right" answers, the earlier you can get on with studying the material as needed. I remember studying for the exam and talking with my supervisor about some of the questions and answers. He and I would read some of the questions and talk about how we would answer them given the choices on the test. In each one of these Q&A sessions there would be one or two questions that we would agree on that the test would count as wrong. He had his doctorate in social work and was a successful private practitioner for many years and he still couldn't always get the right answers according to the test. You have to remember that the correct answer for the test may not be your way of answering the question, but it is still the correct answer. Unfortunately, you will not get very far by arguing with the computer over which "answer" you should perform first in a particular situation. Instead, study for the purpose of the exam and remember that the real world is a lot messier than answer A, B, C, or D.
   
5. You have already passed. Remember that the exam is merely the culmination of a long road of clinical practice and supervision. To get to this point in your career you have most likely been through 100 hours of supervision and thousands of hours of clinical practice. Your supervisor has signed off on your capabilities as a social work practitioner. People have come to you for therapeutic help and returned again and again because they believe you can help them. All in all, to get to the point where you can even take the test requires the implicit and explicit approval of a number of people in your life. They know you are a good social worker, regardless of the outcome of your exam. The LCSW exam does not prove that you are a good social worker, that you care about the self-determination of others, or that you stand for justice and provide a voice for the voiceless. Clients wouldn't return if you were a bad social worker, supervisors wouldn't sign the necessary forms if you weren't a good clinician. The fact of the matter is that you have a crowd of people who know that you are ready to take the exam and approve of your doing so. In essence, you have already passed the difficult part; the exam is more a formality than a gate-keeper.

So, there you have it. These five tips helped me put the exam in what I felt was the proper perspective. To be sure, I studied hard and often. However, I was not about to let the exam dictate how I felt about my abilities to practice as a clinical social worker. I merely thought of it as one more step on an already long and most completed journey, a step that affirmed what I already knew from experience. Namely, that I was a good social worker and that I could practice effectively, ethically and compassionately.

Peace

small accomplishment

My to do list for Thur-Sun had 35 items on it. I completed 19 items and made headway on another 3. For me, 22 tasks + a trip to Memphis + a night out=hella impressive & productive for me. With lots of sleep to boot. Not sure how it all happened but glad to have gotten so much done. Sadly, blogging is not one of the things accomplished. Nonetheless, know you are in my thoughts.