my climb from the ash pile

Tonight was supposed to be my big night of getting back on track with preparing for the LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker) exam. Starting point: Pull out my folder of logs-n-such, go through application to see what's missing, review logs to make sure I have enough hours even though the person at the health board office in Nashville lied when they said my supervision hours count as part of my required 3,000 clinical hours.  I didn't even ask her a question about that; she just volunteered that information.Weep, weep, WAAIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. I don't have 3,000 hours. I stopped my supervision while it was regular and my LCSW supervisor was used to incorporating me into her weekly schedule. I stopped accumulating hours while I was in a position where I was actively and daily utilizing clinical skills. I stopped tracking and marked this as done because you (great Nashville office) told me I was done. I am disheartened and numb. My "studying" pretty much stopped once I made that discovery. I'm not lacking a whole lot and could have knocked it out and submitted the app in January in my old position. Things are different now.... Timing is so important because the Social Work Board only meets once a quarter. One's application and documentation have to be there when they meet or else you have to wait another 3 months to even be considered for permission to take the LCSW test. If I can't submit my paperwork this month..... Making matters worse, what the test is based on changes in July. Hence, if I don't both take and pass the test prior to July 1 I have to retrain my brain because the old information, at that point, will be "wrong". More studying, more to learn. July 1 gives me a lot of motivation to do what I have to do on this end to pass before then. But since I received "complimentary" bad information and therefore discontinued supervision, I figure all I can do is plan and take it one day at a time from here. In my office next week, I can combine old and new logs (I started tracking again in November or so after person from Nashville told me to track until I actually pass the test) to see what my total number of supervision hours really is. I also want to re-total the old to make sure it was counted correctly the first time. From there, I will go through a fresh check list of items needed and make a new list of things to do in order to have my package ready to be mailed. I highly doubt I know where to find any of the transcripts that were mailed to me because I've moved a time or two since then. Even if my hours are lacking, I can do everything else required for the application. For now, I'm going to read and record a little more of my study book. I believe I can do that even with a heavy heart. But my heart is so incredibly heavy. This burden is great. I thought I was beginning to rise from the ashes then a new fire began.