a deep breath

Friday, I got a wonderful text: “oh, post…” 

I’ve been too busy to take a good, deep breath by my own calculations. God sees different, however, and provides small notes as such. A client saying, “You can take the time if you really want…,” a co-worker ringing similar words. My body & spirit finally caught up. Tuesday, I took the day off. It was glorious to be off in the middle of the week and for it to be just because. Friday, I was out of the office due to attending a one day conference in Oxford, MS. One day in, one day out, two days in, three days out seems to be a wonderful schedule. Tuesday, I accomplished very little on my to do list but I did get a nap. Fabulous.

I’m tired. In part, that’s due to being on the highway every single weekend. March 2 was something in Memphis.  March 9^th  Hair appointment weekend. That was for Tomika. March 16  Elton John concert with dad (& Tomika).  March 23 Elementary School Gathering.  March 30^th Easter. April 5 Conference in MS. My schedule goes on & on. Soon, I will be in Branson celebrating my sister’s birthday. I need rest. I love life but life should include rest.

Photoshop class takes up a significant amount of my time. Wednesday evenings, 6-8pm + homework. Towards the beginning, the weekend was designated as homework time. Soon after, the weekend became road time creating a strain on everything else in life that requires time. Also, the tasks are becoming more involved so 2 hours isn't sufficient for assignment completion. Working this process, it has occurred to me that I’m in a world of photography but don’t take photographs. I only half-way know where my camera is. A photography class late last year made me realize I don’t know half of what my camera does. Goal: download & read the manual. Being around photographers this year further instills the notion that I have a ways to go. I feel like I know even less about my camera. I have so much organizing to do. Photoshop is a bitch; touching up photos I had in mind for commercial use might not be quite practical. My teacher says photoshop is designed to enhance a good photo not fix a bad one. From what I currently know, removing two rows of fans at a concert is going to be a pain in the ass. I’m 6 weeks into the class; I have 6 weeks left. We’ll see. One goal is to create the husband-husband & wife-wife greeting cards I envision. We’re starting to work with tools that might help me bring that to fruition but I have a ways of practice before I nail it. An unforeseen major challenge for me has been seeing. Making a good picture great involves minor color tweeks. This richness of green or that level of green? Ergh. Learning to make the tweeks is a secondary challenge that comes after seeing. 

My house is still unpacked. Currently, that makes me miserable on the inside. I can clean or I can unpack. I haven’t figured out how to effectively do both. I’m choosing to hire out a small bit for the cleaning; removing even a smaller "to do" once per month will help. The yard is a separate booger all together. 

Who’s planting?! What are you growing this year? I need to start my cilantro plant but haven’t felt sold on any other herbal. I did good with basil last year. That pride is enough for me as I don’t cook with it much. I’ve suggested tomatoes (topsy turvey?) & potatoes in a garbage can to Tomika. Can’t say I’ve gotten buy in on either :). Both are on the list of things I should consume less. Speaking of, I continue to seek a life with limited amounts of gluten, nightshade plants, & dairy. My latest specific goal is to have dinners free of those elements in house. When dining out, okay. When dining in, may I use the control I have access to.

Sunday, I agreed to the refocus of better health. This week, I begin by adding chia seeds to my life. I have no hard evidence that chia seeds will make any significant difference in my life but I move forward in faith. This renewal came because I realized I felt like shit. I don’t enjoy that state of being. Other changes have surely begun to come forward because as I held the thought of making changes to change how I feel, visions of things to change came forward: fruit daily, Naked/Boathouse twice weekly, chai, cardiovascular work, yoga!.... 

Namaste.

sick days art

Last week, I had the nastiest annual migraine yet. By the end, my chest felt like it was dealing with the used to be annual bronchitis I got while in graduate school. Migraines are horrible enough without body aches to accompany them but there it was. When not sleeping, I struggled with boredom as there wasn't much that I could do that didn't make me feel worse. So, I started my wall of inspiration. It's been my vision since the beginning of being in this house, probably, but the initial bricks are only now being laid. While restrained to one spot, I made the following:

My new hero, Regan, is on here. So it Awesome Minnie that participates in marathons even though she has fibromyalgia. Who says we can't thrive?

It's amazing how much porn comes up when using search terms that might produce healthy, fit, in shape, athletic, strong, EXERCISING women. Is that what we are to the world? Flesh to drool over? Strength existing mainly to fulfill a sexual desire?

Also on the wall is my mom and a yogi that's apparently not featured in this picture. It strikes me how much I gravitated towards photos of yoga while working on this project and how my soul craves to get inked with a yoga image but I'm not currently practicing on the mat. And I think that's good for me. I'm focused on something else for my health and need gazelle intensity this time around. My effort will be split too much if I intentionally practice yoga right now. What might happen is I'll lightened up on my swimming inclinations and spend a day on yoga each week once it gets cold. What's true is that I stretch after I walk and yoga always comes forth at that time. It's not 45 minutes of practice, but it can be 5. Yoga is life.

My fibromyalgia counter-attack continues. M,W, R is when I exercise to preserve my life. My conversation with Dr. Rodger Murphree deserves its own entry but the short is my Jackson doctor and I are trying some of the things he recommends on our own before I decide/act on accepting (or not) the $3200 6-month program he thinks will help me feel so much better than I do. So, I've spent the day spitting in tubes so my adrenal levels can be tested. My doctor took blood to determine how well my thyroid is functioning. And I'm eating up good food so I can go back on the allergy testing diet and try to figure out my triggers. This time, however, I'll be "on" (i.e., eating possible trigger foods) for only 3-5 days and looking for a number of symptoms besides pain to identify the triggers.

May you today take a step towards your Highest Self and feel loved in that new position of the awesome.