Today's status from Anne Lamott. It was worth sharing and keeping forever.

I had a great idea for a new book, although come to think of it, maybe it is just a Facebook post. But it would be called Pre First Draft, and address the way we suit up and show up to be writers, artists, and general tribal-two-stomp creative types.

I think it would begin with an admonition: if you used to love writing, painting, dancing, singing, whatever, but you stopped doing it when you had kids or began a strenuous career, then you have to ask yourself if you are okay about not doing it anymore.

If you always dreamed of writing a novel or a memoir, and you used to love to write, and were pretty good at it, will it break your heart if it turns out you never got around to it? If you wake up one day at eighty, will you feel nonchalant that something always took precedence over a daily commitment to discovering your creative spirit?

If not--if this very thought fills you with regret--then what are you waiting for?

Back in the days when I had writing students, they used to spend half their time explaining to me why it was too hard to get around to writing every day, but how once this or that happens--they retired, or their last kid moved out--they could get to work.

I use to say very nicely, "That's very nice; but it's a total crock. There will never be a good time to write. It will never be easier. If you won't find an hour a day now, you won't find it then."

It's the same belief as thinking that once you lose weight, you'll begin to feel good about yourself. No, you won't. If you're not okay with yourself at 185 pounds, you're not going to be okay at 140. It's an inside job.

How do you begin? The answer is simple: you decide to. Then you push back your sleeves and start writing--I.e., scribbling words down on paper, or typing at a computer. And it will be completely awful. It will be unreadable shit! You won't have a clue how it account to anything, ever. And to that, I say, Welcome. That's what it's like to be a writer. But you just do it anyway. At my church, we sing a gospel song called, "Hallelujah anyway." Everything's a mess, and you're going down the tubes financially, and gaining weight? Well, Hallelujah anyway.

So you decide to get back to work creatively, and you write up some thoughts or passages or memories or scenes. Then what? Then you write some more. Everywhere you go, you carry a pen, and take notes--ideas will start to come to you. You'll see and overhear and remember things that you want to include in this mysterious quilt you're putting together, so you jot them down. Imagine a rag-bag guy who lives inside you, who collects images, descriptions, holy moments, snippets of funny conversation, for you to use in your writing--but he doesn't have any hands, and needs you to help him amass the rags with which you can make squares for the quilt.

That's all you have to do today: pay attention--being a writer is about paying attention. Stop hitting the snooze button. Carry a pen with you everywhere, or else God will give me all these insights and images that were supposed to go to you. Hang up a shingle on the inside of you: now open for business. Wow! You won't have to wake up at 70, aching with regret that you threw your creative essence under the bus. And if you already are seventy, then you won't have to wake up at eighty, confused and in despair about how you let your gift slip away. Because you will have been writing--or dancing again, or practicing recorder--every single glorious, livelong, weird, amazing day.

and the point of it all was art

Lately, life has been incredibly busy:
(1) Work is busy. For the past several weeks, I've been in my office about three days a week and my case load has expanded from 15 to 25 over the summer. There's a lot to do in general. Accomplishing it in 3 days-- eek.
(2) I've been shopping for a car. Turns out it's not an easy thing to do leisurely; thus it became something I did every possible moment for 1.5 weeks. In the end, I bought a Hyandi Sante Fe but 8 days after signing papers and making a down payment, I still don't have my truck. A key feature I wanted was a sunroof. This truck didn't come with one so I'm having it added. The completion date has traveled, a day at a time, from Thursday to Monday.  When I called on Friday to check on the progress, I was told it should be ready on Saturday by 9am.  Saturday, a Hyandi manager looked at me like death had happened and expressed disbelief that no one called to tell me my truck wasn't ready. I practiced assertiveness and got a Sante Fe on loan and the "promise" that my truck will be delivered to me at home or work on Monday. We'll see. They've changed the completion date so much I don't have much faith.
(3) I participated in an art fair.The show was called Art at the Market and was organized by a quasi-friend of mine in Jackson. The entry fee was only $5 and I regained that at the event. I was no where near reclaiming the $400 spent preparing for the event, supplies only. I attempted to utilize PhotoShop (failed), transfer images to wood (poorly done), and made frames from craft sticks and bottle tops (beautiful) in addition to printing fresh images. I also had magnets and bookmarks created whenever I did the last event. I had 2 images blown up to 16x20 and framed, making them appropriate for hanging in a living room or utilizing for some other main wall piece in one's house. I feel I learned some things/made some commitments this time around:
1. Work on art year round. Staying up to midnight/1am, working art 4-6 hours AFTER coming home from a day job isn't for me. I'm proud of myself for pulling it (with the help of a lot of Dollar Tree energy drinks) but I'd like to need it less next time.
2. Art should be part of my monthly budget. I may still end up spending $400-$600 towards a show but it won't hit my account at once. I can slowly add to my supplies.
3. I should buy a hanging rack. It should decrease my fear of someone breaking something and make it easier to display my work compared to trying to represent everything on a couple of tables (I think).
4. I might gain more of my money back per year if I do many events per year. I felt a lot of anxiety about putting out new images because I had the same shots, for the most part, at Art for Hope 2011 & 2010. Today, there was a new audience but I wanted to make sure I had something new to offer in case anyone that has already seen my pieces showed up. Doing more shows allows for more opportunities per year to sell the 6-12 new poses I might opt to put out in addition to the poses from years before.
5. I will take a class on photoshop. I utilized online tutorials and got my sister to do the same but either my software is broken or we are missing something. Mostly, I just want to remove extra people that are in a frame (e.g., the person's hat on the front row of a show).

Today's excitement is that I met Valerie June's mom. She walked up to my table and asked, "Do you know that woman?" I gave my typical spill about who VJ is and she said, "I know. That's my daughter." Small world! She's a painter. I gave her a shot of her daughter. She "earned" a shot of my turtles and said she's going to paint them and send me the image. Cool.

Another contributor of recent business (#4): I'm shopping for a new place to live. Tomika and I are trying to use 1-2 days per week to view housing. Another way to save on cost.

And today (#5), surprise, surprise, my hot water tank burst and drowned my kitchen and living room. Turned out to be a blessing that we left the chairs at home when we went downtown to set up at the art fair. Tomika returned home and discovered the mess. It's a nightmare. My house looks like a natural disaster hit it. I came home while someone watched my booth but Tomika insisted I return to the fair and see what I can sale instead of packing up to help clean. She cleaned up the water and removed things from the soaked areas while I was at the art fair. After posting this blog, I'll spend some time cleaning the living room in an attempt to move things towards normal.

Boy am I sleepy! I've been going like mad for weeks now. I pray that my body (illness) does not catch up with me. Blessed be.

life in 4 pics

This year, I have new types of items for the Art for Hope fundraiser art fair. I'm quite excited to present my first magnets and bookmarks:


I plan to make these magnets too:






















Also, there is new reading:


I'm enjoying the Gita, though I've read less than 1 chapter. It was awkward at first, but now I see it in light of Life and Christian Scripture. It's beautiful for the most part.

There is so much to be done before the Nov 3 art show. So much, so much, so much. I guess this weekend will bring cards, magnets, and more bookmarks?

I stopped dating Memphis. I did like her but I did not like the drama of the two of us as such. We still talk daily but now 1-2x per day instead of 3-4x. I suspect the decision to leave a romantic us alone was a good idea.

All week, I've been way too sleepy. Tonight, I will be in bed by 9pm. I quit the allergen elimination diet but I do have an appointment to talk to a doctor on Monday about a food sensitivity test, the ALCAT.