bug bite, leadership, and the pursuit of love

Explanation: This entry was started 1.5 weeks ago. Forgive the inconsistency in time expressed.


Today (1.5 weeks ago)  was the last of the three-month leadership class I've been taking at work, main campus. I shouldn't say this because there are human trolls that watch everything for inappropriate remarks but, damn was my teacher looking good for class number 6 (or 8?). Ya'll, that lady is cute. Fine. I studied her the first two weeks to see if I thought she liked girls. I swear a wedding ring popped up that second week. lol. I chatted with her one day; it was a test to see if I've ever learned to talk to pretty girls. I...well, okay. Anyhow, she wore a form fitting top that made her lovely breast look ginormous and again, a nipple was perky. That's all.

I did include "leadership" and not "lust" in the title but I think I'll end there. I mean, if I post what the class itself was about, those human troll scouts just might find me ;).

In other news....
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Two Wednesdays ago, I took a homeless woman to search for housing. This is common with my position. Unfortunately, many apartment complexes have off site management so you call and they come over. On that day, we arrived many minutes before management. It didn't seem too terrible because it gave us time to call some folks from craigslist to inquire about their options. But, it involved being bitten many times by insects. One, fatal. Or not, but damn painful. Wednesday, I was biten. Friday evening I could barely walk. Saturday, I knew I had a problem. Sitting was even an issue. In this midst of this new burst of pain, a tooth started falling out chunk by chunk (Friday evening). Saturday morning, I learned it was a mixture of a filling and my toothe. Abscess, root canal needed, crown. blah. But it came with antibiotics. So, I took the amoxicillian prescribed by the dentist, used the hydrocortizone cream recommended by my love interest, and grunted through the pain. Tuesday, aka day 5 of level 10 pain, I couldn't take it anymore. Hell, I was probably about there on Monday but I wanted to give the antibiotic at least 3 days before deciding it wasn't helpful. My dental work was scheduled for Tue so I thought I'd go to the doctor on Wednesday. Due to pain, I did both on Tuesday. The doctor and I didn't discuss what bite me, but that is the question on everyone's mind. Again and again I explain, I only cared about getting rid of the pain. The bite grew into a tendor spot about 6 inches long and 4-6 inches wide depending on the spot. I was prescribed a stronger antibiotic and told to continue with warm compresses, hydrocortizone cream, and to add neosporin. UPDATE: The knot has shrunk small enough that having it lanceted isn't recommended... I hope that's right. It seemed to be hiding when I saw the doctor so he didn't really feel the true size of what remains. But I'm counting this issue as resolved and pray it stays as such. I'm not going back a 3rd time about a bug bite.


the pursuit of love
The new one is black, queen-sized but treats me as if I'm the queen. Warehouse work, own apartment, own car. 39, like my sister. Same name sometimes. (weird funny) Been dating 6 weeks now. Met on pof.com. She wants to spoil me. I warn that I'm easy to be spoiled and then there's no going back. She met the bulk of my family Saturday but I don't like how that went. I've heard no complaints from them and there were moments when she interacted with others. She'll be with a smaller segment tomorrow for 4th of July. My sister and her 5 children + Love Interest are coming to Jackson for BBQ. The kids are staying until Sunday, when my mom will pick them up after going house shopping with me. SHE lives in Memphis, like my folk and several ex's. Actually, she lives down the street from Tammy, who lives 2 streets down and over from Memphis. New one I like but don't know how long it will last. Maybe a while. She isn't 100% on must have/can't stand but she has good traits I never thought to imagine. My insides aren't running.

must haves & can't stands

This is apparently what I marked for my must haves/can't stands when I signed up for compatible partners:

Must Haves:

• Communicator... I must have someone who is good at talking and listening.
• Chemistry... I must feel deeply in love with and attracted to my partner.
• Ambition... I must have a partner who shares my desire to achieve high financial and/or career goals.
• Spiritual Acceptance... My partner must accept and respect my spiritual beliefs, whether they share them or not.
• Shared Politics... I must have someone who has political beliefs which are the same or similar to my own.
• Verbal Intimacy... I must know that my partner is sharing their deepest emotional thoughts and desires.
• Affectionate... I must have someone who is comfortable giving and receiving affection.
• Industriousness... I must have someone who is willing to work hard at whatever they do.
• Kindness... I must have a partner who is gentle and kind.
• Tolerant... I must have a partner who is able to hear and appreciate divergent viewpoints.

Can't Stands:

• Pessimism... I can't stand someone who always sees the glass as half empty.
• Rude... I can't stand someone who is belittling, impatient or hateful to people in any situation.
• Anger... I can't stand someone who can't manage their anger, who yells, or bottles it up inside.
• Cheating... I can't stand someone who takes advantage of people.
• Vanity... I can't stand someone who is overly interested in their physical appearance.
• Dependence... I can't stand someone who bases their happiness on me.
• Racist... I can't stand someone who believes that any particular ethnic group to which they belong is superior to the rest of humanity.
• Lying... I can't stand someone who lies to anyone-especially to me.
• Judgmental... I can't stand someone who finds fault with everyone and everything.
• Gossip... I can't stand someone who loves to talk about other people.

photography contest

i need a place to save this info:

2012 Dawg Daze Street Festival Art and Photography Contest

by Milan Dawg Daze Street Festival on Monday, May 21, 2012 at 10:46am ·

Aug 25, 2012

Professional & Amateur Entries Welcome – Numerous Awards & Ribbons
$5.00 per entry - maximum 5 entries per person
(Children up to ages 11 – Up to 2 entries – Free)

All entries must be delivered to:
brandy kemp Photography, 1042 S Main St, Milan, TN  by Monday August 13th 10:00 AM– 1:00 PM.

(If special arrangements are needed please call 731-234-1390.  LATE ENTRIES WILL BE ACCEPTED BUT COULD HAVE AN ADDITIONAL ENTRY FEE!)
All Entries must be original and taken or done within the last two years
Nudes will not be accepted
Theme - OPEN SUBJECT MATTER.
All Entries must be framed and ready to hang or a way to showcase your work.
Size Limit – 20 X 24 INCLUDING FRAME.
Each Entry must have an identification card attached to the Back with the following information;
Name - Address - Phone Number - Email Address – Title - Sale Price or Not for Sale & age for children up to age 11.

20% of the proceeds of any sale(s) will go to the Milan Chamber of Commerce.

The show will be open Aug 25th 10:00AM - 6:00PM
At brandy kemp Photography, 1042 S Main St, Milan, TN
Awards & Entry Pick-up -Monday August  28th 10:00 to 2:00 PM
(If you can’t make arrangements for pick up call 731- 234-1390)
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Entry Form – Please complete and bring with your entries on or before August 13, 2012

Name_______________________________________Address___________________________________________________

Phone #________________________________Email Address___________________________________________________

Entry # 1 – Name________________________________________________________ Sale Price_______________________

Entry # 2 – Name________________________________________________________ Sale Price_______________________

Entry # 3 – Name________________________________________________________ Sale Price_______________________

Entry # 4 – Name________________________________________________________ Sale Price_______________________

Entry # 5 – Name________________________________________________________ Sale Price_______________________

From http://www.facebook.com/notes/milan-dawg-daze-street-festival/2012-dawg-daze-street-festival-art-and-photography-contest/336178276450641

Microexpressions I

Microexpressions are now on my lists of interests. More so than microexpressions, I'm interested in learning to read people. I work with liars. It'd be good to have a science behind me on pointing out bull. And giving me reason to sympathize instead of missing a person's sincerity. Below is one article on microexpressions, a general info bit that has interesting tid bits. Things I learned from it include (assuming his statements are accurate):
1. Hand movements are not microexpressions-- with his statement, I suspect he's also implying that hand movements cannot be used to determine true from non-truth. I don't know if his implication is correct.
2. Microexpressions only cover 7 emotions: anger, sadness, happiness, disgust, contempt, fear, and surprise. He says there is not one for guilt; I think Lie to Me leads one to believe that there is.

The Truth About Microexpressions

By Mike Murr

There has been a lot of talk lately about the idea of microexpressions. TV shows like Lie to Me and Psych include elements based on the concept of micro expressions. The problem is that a lot of the material out there is wrong. I wrote this post to help explain what microexpressions really are, and to help separate some of the fact from fiction that is floating around the web.

What are microexpressions?

First of all let’s get a proper understanding of what constitutes a micro expression.  A microexpression is a very brief (1/2 a second or less) facial expression of one of the seven basic emotions: anger, sadness, happiness, disgust, contempt, fear, and surprise.
There are a few key things to note:

• Micro expressions are facial expressions, not movements of the arms, legs, hands, etc.
• In this context micro refers to duration of the expression, not the degree of movement.
• Micro expressions are limited to the basic emotions. Basic emotions are emotions that have been scientifically demonstrated to be associated with specific facial expressions. ¹

The last bullet point represents a very common misconception. If someone tells you about a microexpression for something other than a basic emotion they are wrong. ² This means that there are no microexpressions for things such as guilt, scorn, disbelief, etc.

When do microexpressions occur?

Micro expressions can occur when a person attempts to conceal an emotion. This is true if the attempted concealment is intentional (suppression) or unintentional (repression). ³ In this sense microexpressions are a form of leakage. The microexpression “leaks” (reveals) information about the emotion the person is attempting to conceal.
A classic beginner’s mistake is to assume that people are constantly displaying microexpressions. The truth is that microexpressions occur much less frequently than most people realize. Here are a few of the reasons why:

• Many people who try to conceal emotions focus on what they are saying, not the movements of their faces (or bodies.)
• Microexpressions are more likely when our emotions are intense, such as in high stakes situations .
• Some people just don’t display microexpressions when they are concealing an emotion. Science hasn’t figured out why this is, but research has shown that roughly 50% of people don’t. ⁴

Finally don’t forget that facial expressions are an important part ofcommunication. ⁵ This means that the more you express with your face, the better you will communicate with other people. So it is often in our best interest to display, rather than to conceal our emotions.
For example the angry glaring look you got when you forgot flowers on Valentine’s Day — Trust me, there was no attempt to conceal. That facial expression was definitely meant as communication.

What do microexpressions mean?

When you see a microexpression all it means is that the person was likely trying to conceal an emotion, and failed to fully do so. By itself a microexpression doesn’t tell you much at all. Like any form of a nonverbal, you need to consider the context in which the microexpression occurred. The next section goes into more depth, although remember these three things:

1. Seeing a microexpression does not tell you who or what caused the emotion
2. Seeing a microexpression does not tell you who or what the emotion is directed at
3. Seeing a microexpression does not tell you what a person is thinking

Does a microexpression mean someone is lying?

This question represents the all-time biggest misconception about microexpressions. Here is the answer:

Microexpressions in and of themselves do not mean that someone is lying

A key thing to keep in mind is that microexpressions are about emotions, while lying is about the truthfulness of a statement. To see an example of how these can differ, assume a person is suspected of stealing money from the company safe. Here is part of an imaginary dialog:

• Interviewer: “Did you take the money?”
• Suspect: “I did not take the money from the safe!”

The classic beginner’s mistake at this point is to think “Aha! A microexpression of fear, the suspect must be afraid of getting caught. The suspect is guilty!” All the microexpression of fear tells you is that it is quite likely the suspect experienced some form of the emotion of fear. Remember: a microexpression does not tell you what someone was thinking. The suspect could easily be innocent and is afraid that no one will believe them. Maybe the suspect is having an affair with the office manager is afraid their “indiscretions” will be discovered.

How can I learn how to spot microexpressions?

Microexpression training is offered by Dr. Paul Ekman (METT) and Dr. David Matsutomoto (MiX). I’ve taken both sets of training, and have found them both to be effective.
The caveat with any microexpression training is that it is not a “checkbox”. Even one hour can make a big difference, but if you are serious about accurately reading the face, you need to practice on a regular basis.

Fingerprint: B8770AEA4CC8BBDFA8A07240C1BA0F78

Notes:

1. http://www.humintell.com/2010/06/the-seven-basic-emotions-do-you-know-them/ ↩
2. There is a difference between basic emotions and those that are universally experienced. ↩
3. http://www.paulekman.com/products/micros/ ↩
4. http://www.paulekman.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/December-2009-Newsletter.pdf ↩
5. http://www.humintell.com/2009/07/so-you-want-to-be-an-expert-1/ ↩

Related posts:

1. Three Mistakes People Make about the 7 Basic Emotions
2. Practical Examples of Deception Detection

The above article came from http://socialexploits.com/blog/microexpressions-explained/  This post was originally going to be about the degree of (in)sincerity I think President Barack Obama had when affirming same-sex marriage, but how I appreciate him saying it anyway. Obviously, I decided to go a different direction.

Seize the Day!

church in the desert

For years, I have struggled to find a spiritual body where I can grow and not feel condemnation from a mile away. The last place where I fully connected was Rock Bridge Christian Church in MO. In Mphs, I had a stint at Galloway UMC and then Prescott Baptist but neither place was quite where I needed to stay. I went back home (to Mphs) with hopes of First Congregational being the spot, but it just didn't "feel like home". Today, again, I have hope. Phoenix Christian Church in Wildersville, TN. It's 30 excruciating minutes from my house (I like things to be 15 minutes or less) but what other open and affirming church is there in West TN? I'm surprised to find this one-- and in Wildersville of all places! Population of 3600 according to city-data (2007). And, without asking any questions, I can tell that at least 1/2 of the adults there are lgbt. I suspect that it might be more like 90%. Taking this in and having a minister from Holy Trinity UCC in Memphis bringing the message today, I thought back to how I visited Holy Trinity but knew I didn't want to join because I didn't want to be at a "gay" church I still don't want to be a member of a gay church. Like with The Stone, I'd love to help Phoenix grow to be a church diverse  in age, race, sexual orientation, and gender (not that I ever did that with the Stone). But unlike when I was in Memphis, I have an even more radical call to be gay and Christian and involved and help others find that place. If the base work for that is a predominately gay church, so be it. Spread the news. Calling Lexington and Surrounding Areas-- our church is here. Our meeting spot is here. We can assemble, pray, plan, pray, and charge! I won't promise that I'll stay at this church forever and ever but boy george, do I plan to go back! I feel happy. And loved.

natural food tracking

I haven't given up my indulgences. I wonder if I can pick myelf up and go into the control stage then an official gluten test by the end of next week. This morning, I ate 2 individual cheese things with tortilla chips. I've gone a long while without my nachos. I felt fine then noticed a small odditity in my mouth where the teeth and gums meet. Also, it gave me a sore throat and made my throat sensitive to touch, unless that happened because of something else (sinuses?) Possible known triggers: corn & dairy. Dairy I know to be positive. Thankfully, it wasn't bad. The fact that I'm tired right now, well that's another story... ;)

I need to take my car to the shop but don't feel like it. I want to nap instead. I showered and dressed thinking it might help. Nope. But I need to go now so not to ask for help from a co-worker during the week. I was gonna see a doctor today but did I mention not feeling like leaving the house or doing anything (Sleepiness, not illness)? Mom thinks I should skip Physicians Quality Care, find a new PCP, and go there.

Oh my Gaud. Let me tell you the deal with my latest PCP. I called to request an appointment first of March. The first available was mid-April. She was FABulous on that day. She took a swab of this spot that appeared on my skin in late December. I called her office 2 weeks after my visit to inquire of the results; they didn't have them. I called them the following Friday and left a message for her nurse. Tuesday I left another message. The following week, a third. Nada. No communication on what is going on with my body and this freakin' spot itches and has been there for 4 months at that point and I'm freakin' tired of it. I wrote the PCP a letter to inform her of my concern and ask that someone call me. In my letter, I asked if I should continue to use the over the counter products I've been using for 2 months or if there's something she'd like to prescribe. No communication for her. Instead, I got a voicemail from K-mart stating it's important for me to pick up my medication ..... what? Yeah, she called in an antibiotic that I picked up yesterday. It would have been nice if her office called me, told me the results of the swab, and informed me of the prescription. It can kill me. It says not to take it unless nothing else will solve the problem. WTF? Is this my punishment for being an assertive, inquisitive, I give a fuck about my health patient? This warning comes at the TOP of the information sheet for the med, not under caution or side effect. I looked it up online to learn more about it. The site I visited has its warning at the top of the page in a yellow box. Is my skin spot really this crucial? Was there nothing to try between over the count and possibly lethal prescription? So, I take my 4 turquoise pills per day and pair it with probiotics since the danger has to do with nasty bacteria growing on my insides. And pray/hope. And wait. I need a new doctor....

A semi-medical tid bit: I had a 15 minute massage on Thursday and it didn't hurt! The process felt good; there was no after effect unless you count my increased notice of how my tight my shoulders were. I bought some snagmob deals for 25 minute massages. They are about to expire so I had to fit them in best I/they could. So, I scheduled a 5pm appointment knowing it would be hard to make even without knowing how far away this office is from my job (15 minutes, far by Jackson standards). I got there at 5:05, she gave me way too long to undress, esp since I tried to while she was standing there. 15 good minutes is what resulted. I go again Monday but will have a different massage therapist. We'll see.

more natural food tracking

First off, let me say that I haven't seen a Burger King option board in a minute. It was shocking.

Dinner: Whopper with lettuce, onion, mayo, mustard, ketchup; French Fries; Strawberry Milkshake (shall we discuss indulgence?)

After Effect: that thing in my mouth that affects the spot where my gums meet my teeth. Also that string in the mouth.

We know that dairy and nightshade plants are a bad thing. Gluten too?

Sadly, the food wasn't at all impressive. The burger was okay but not outstanding; it was the best out of the bunch :(.